Praise to the East, West, North, and South

Today I decided to attend the earlier service at my church called "Sacred Journeys." I'd always felt a pull to go, but last week my pastor actually suggested it, and that was somehow the fire I needed lit under me to attend!
I am so thankful I did!
Sacred Journeys is a service held in the Art Gallery of the Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church at 9:00 on Sunday mornings. It differs from the traditional Methodist service and liturgy of the 9:30 service in the sanctuary: the congregation sits in a circle around an offering table, there is incense lit, there is beautiful folk music sung, and the attendees are an incredibly tight-knit community. I felt embraced the moment I walked in! So many people were happy I was there and interested. The story told today by the pastor was about evangelism, or as we progressive Christians tend to think of it, "The 'E' Word." Evangelizing that "sells" God and Jesus Christ, that threatens, or coerces, is not what Jesus had in mind for us when he called us to be "fishers of men." As we explored through our own stories the pain that evangelism has caused in our lives, we were left with the question, "How then can we share the love of God and Jesus?"
Not as difficult as you might suspect, actually. Wait for the place, the time, and tell YOUR story. Tell it to someone who wants to hear it. Invite. Welcome. Announce the good news! Everyone will walk their own path of faith anyway; all you can do is invite them to start down the road.
Luke 5

Crosses to Bear

I hesitate to use that phrase, because it sounds so Louisa May Alcott, and I am not skilled at validating myself when it comes to my crosses. I've spent a good portion of my life feeling that other people's feelings and problems were valid, but not mine. I, for some unknown reason, was special; my feelings didn't count, my problems weren't real problems. This often led me to overcompensate in various ways, like being really self-obsessed, or being convinced that everyone was angry with me, so preemptively getting angry with them. I don't do that anymore; it takes too much energy. I've found it's much easier to just acknowledge my problems and feelings, do with them what I can, and say the Serenity Prayer!

My struggle lately has been my chronic and deep fatigue. I've had to rely heavily on Ivy's dads for support; I can barely do the laundry or dishes. I've been needing at least 12 hours of sleep a night, and almost always take a nap when Ivy takes one. That's a lot of sleep! I've tried the sunlamp, vitamins, good nutrition, moderate exercise, and nothing seems to be improving it. Thankfully, I went to the doctor this morning and was pre-diagnosed with a thyroid problem. Makes sense; it runs in my family. Hopefully after some bloodwork next week, I will be able to treat it directly. I'm excited to enter spring with some energy!

I read the story of the Good Samaritan today, and was reminded how radical Jesus was. In a society where mixing castes and ethic groups was not only unheard of, but considered "unclean," he truly set the world on fire. Do we often forget how powerful and novel his message was? It's easy to do in our own culture; it is hard not to treat talking about Jesus ironically, because of the mud his name has been dragged through by conservative Christians. Can we remember how he was unlike any other person on earth, before or since? It's difficult for me to even wrap my brain around. My imagination often can't encompass Jesus and his message; I have to have it in bits and pieces and wait for the wonder to hit me. That's my prayer for today: I wait for the wonder of Jesus to fill me, and I try, however feebly, to be where I am needed!

My Apologies

...for my "sabbatical"! Things here have been busy, and I have been very interested in hibernating, as I am wont to do this time of year. My daughter, my fiance, my graduate studies, and other writing projects taken up much of my attention-gladly! :)

I've found, though, that losing focus on my spiritual writing does no one any good. Writing about my faith grounds me, puts me in the here and now, and I'm a firm believer that God dwells in the here and now, not in the past or future. A Christian Buddhist? Sometimes.

Last night I was lucky enough to be able to meet with a group of friends from church. These ladies have been meeting for over a year now, and we have formed a special bond. Somehow, we have all come together in a group dynamic that makes it natural and easy to talk about our faith, or lack thereof. We met at Muddy Waters Coffee Shop in Uptown Minneapolis last evening, shared tea and chocolate cake, books and news, and they let me rant about my current crisis of faith. After letting me get out what I needed to say, they offered their words, most of which came in the form of, "We have doubts too sometimes. It doesn't mean you should stay away. Keep coming anyway." So I will. And today I am grateful for them.

Acts 3:1-10

Some days we are overwhelmed by what life throws at us. It seems everyone wants a piece of us. There is always someone to answer to, something to get finished, the next task to accomplish. I am a person who can be easily overwhelmed. At least, I used to be. I can now usually find respite in my faith, through prayer and contemplation. Usually all I pray for is God's will for me that day and the strength to carry out that will. Often days seem to be filled to overflowing with tasks I have little enthusiasm for, or little energy, or time, or all three. And so I pray to be where I am needed. Where does God need us today? In our neighborhood? Our own home? Our church? A homeless shelter? With kids in need? We cannot do everything that needs done every day, nor are we called to. In my humble opinion, God wants us to be open to where we are needed, to be flexible to go when called, and to be grateful for the opportunity.

Good to be back! :)