Finding Sophia

Yes!

2010-03-12T12:15:00.000-06:00

Poor, neglected blog! I've been remiss in the past month. My old computer went on the kibbutz, and for some reason that sapped my enthusiasm for writing! Why? I feel bad about that. My personal technology goes kaput and suddenly my favorite way of ministering seems boring? Moreover, I get a shiny new computer and I'm suddenly back on the wagon?

Hm. I could feel ashamed, or I could just accept that I'm a fickle human and laugh. I choose the latter.

So we approach Easter, my favorite time of year in the church. Christmas does not hold the same reverence and mystery for me as Lent and Easter. I love Christmas, don't get me wrong. I love going home to my rural family and hearing the old familiar carols play and all that, and the birth of Jesus is a wondrous and beautiful event to commemorate. But Lent is very real to me. It makes me relive the journey of Jesus to the cross. It isn't pretty, there are no lights or trees or carols. It is real, it is bloody, it is tragic, it is heart-rending. Jesus the Christ, tortured, spat on, lashed and beaten. This is happened. No matter what way we smooth over the pain and the thorns by making the cross ivory or gold or polished wood, the fact of the matter is that whatever you believe about Jesus after his death, He was nailed to a splintered wooden cross and hung there to die slowly of thirst, blood loss, starvation, rot.

But wait.

This person was so powerful, such a personification of God, of Love, that after his death, he either actually rose again to be with God or was so beloved by his followers that he lived on for thousands and thousands of years through more faithful disciples. Either way, it's miraculous. It is HOPE. It's an accurate picture of our human life: Struggle, toil, persecution, failure, death...and then HOPE. Through the Easter story, we were never promised perfect lives and unending happiness from God; we are promised unconditional mercy and love.

I waste a lot of time fretting and wringing my hands over what it means to be "good." There's some value in that, to be sure. It is good to do good works, to be a good parent, wife, friend. But if I am not those things, I am still loved by God. I don't do those things in order to get into heaven; I am already promised heaven, because I am human and will never "deserve" to get there. I love in as close approximation as I can to the way Jesus loves. I love and do good BECAUSE I am loved unconditionally. God says "Yes" to my life, and I try to hear it.

Praise to the East, West, North, and South

2010-02-07T14:01:00.000-06:00

Today I decided to attend the earlier service at my church called "Sacred Journeys." I'd always felt a pull to go, but last week my pastor actually suggested it, and that was somehow the fire I needed lit under me to attend!
I am so thankful I did!
Sacred Journeys is a service held in the Art Gallery of the Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church at 9:00 on Sunday mornings. It differs from the traditional Methodist service and liturgy of the 9:30 service in the sanctuary: the congregation sits in a circle around an offering table, there is incense lit, there is beautiful folk music sung, and the attendees are an incredibly tight-knit community. I felt embraced the moment I walked in! So many people were happy I was there and interested. The story told today by the pastor was about evangelism, or as we progressive Christians tend to think of it, "The 'E' Word." Evangelizing that "sells" God and Jesus Christ, that threatens, or coerces, is not what Jesus had in mind for us when he called us to be "fishers of men." As we explored through our own stories the pain that evangelism has caused in our lives, we were left with the question, "How then can we share the love of God and Jesus?"
Not as difficult as you might suspect, actually. Wait for the place, the time, and tell YOUR story. Tell it to someone who wants to hear it. Invite. Welcome. Announce the good news! Everyone will walk their own path of faith anyway; all you can do is invite them to start down the road.
Luke 5

Crosses to Bear

2010-02-05T11:41:00.000-06:00

I hesitate to use that phrase, because it sounds so Louisa May Alcott, and I am not skilled at validating myself when it comes to my crosses. I've spent a good portion of my life feeling that other people's feelings and problems were valid, but not mine. I, for some unknown reason, was special; my feelings didn't count, my problems weren't real problems. This often led me to overcompensate in various ways, like being really self-obsessed, or being convinced that everyone was angry with me, so preemptively getting angry with them. I don't do that anymore; it takes too much energy. I've found it's much easier to just acknowledge my problems and feelings, do with them what I can, and say the Serenity Prayer!

My struggle lately has been my chronic and deep fatigue. I've had to rely heavily on Ivy's dads for support; I can barely do the laundry or dishes. I've been needing at least 12 hours of sleep a night, and almost always take a nap when Ivy takes one. That's a lot of sleep! I've tried the sunlamp, vitamins, good nutrition, moderate exercise, and nothing seems to be improving it. Thankfully, I went to the doctor this morning and was pre-diagnosed with a thyroid problem. Makes sense; it runs in my family. Hopefully after some bloodwork next week, I will be able to treat it directly. I'm excited to enter spring with some energy!

I read the story of the Good Samaritan today, and was reminded how radical Jesus was. In a society where mixing castes and ethic groups was not only unheard of, but considered "unclean," he truly set the world on fire. Do we often forget how powerful and novel his message was? It's easy to do in our own culture; it is hard not to treat talking about Jesus ironically, because of the mud his name has been dragged through by conservative Christians. Can we remember how he was unlike any other person on earth, before or since? It's difficult for me to even wrap my brain around. My imagination often can't encompass Jesus and his message; I have to have it in bits and pieces and wait for the wonder to hit me. That's my prayer for today: I wait for the wonder of Jesus to fill me, and I try, however feebly, to be where I am needed!

My Apologies

2010-02-03T11:43:00.000-06:00

...for my "sabbatical"! Things here have been busy, and I have been very interested in hibernating, as I am wont to do this time of year. My daughter, my fiance, my graduate studies, and other writing projects taken up much of my attention-gladly! :)

I've found, though, that losing focus on my spiritual writing does no one any good. Writing about my faith grounds me, puts me in the here and now, and I'm a firm believer that God dwells in the here and now, not in the past or future. A Christian Buddhist? Sometimes.

Last night I was lucky enough to be able to meet with a group of friends from church. These ladies have been meeting for over a year now, and we have formed a special bond. Somehow, we have all come together in a group dynamic that makes it natural and easy to talk about our faith, or lack thereof. We met at Muddy Waters Coffee Shop in Uptown Minneapolis last evening, shared tea and chocolate cake, books and news, and they let me rant about my current crisis of faith. After letting me get out what I needed to say, they offered their words, most of which came in the form of, "We have doubts too sometimes. It doesn't mean you should stay away. Keep coming anyway." So I will. And today I am grateful for them.

Acts 3:1-10

Some days we are overwhelmed by what life throws at us. It seems everyone wants a piece of us. There is always someone to answer to, something to get finished, the next task to accomplish. I am a person who can be easily overwhelmed. At least, I used to be. I can now usually find respite in my faith, through prayer and contemplation. Usually all I pray for is God's will for me that day and the strength to carry out that will. Often days seem to be filled to overflowing with tasks I have little enthusiasm for, or little energy, or time, or all three. And so I pray to be where I am needed. Where does God need us today? In our neighborhood? Our own home? Our church? A homeless shelter? With kids in need? We cannot do everything that needs done every day, nor are we called to. In my humble opinion, God wants us to be open to where we are needed, to be flexible to go when called, and to be grateful for the opportunity.

Good to be back! :)

Mama's Gotta Brand New Bag!

2010-01-14T13:30:00.000-06:00

Isaiah 43:16-19

Heck if I know what I was "supposed" to do with my life. There have been so many plans and changes, detours and failures, really anyone's guess is as good as mine. I have a bachelor's degree in women's studies, a year of law school, several nursing classes (which I often forget I even took!), and am nearly finished with a teaching license. Mostly, I write in notebooks whenever I'm not teaching my daughter how to be a person. I have a specific book idea, a collection of essays, the first three chapters of a really horrific mystery novel, and this blog. So, am I a writer? I feel called to be one, so I guess I'll just myself a writer. God gave this to me. He never said I was a GREAT writer, because that takes practice, which is mainly what I do: I practice. He is also calling me to speak about certain topics that may be helpful to people. How to convince anyone that I know anything about anything is an obstacle he hasn't revealed a way around yet. :)

Mostly, God is doing a brand new thing in my life. Ultimately, I didn't become an attorney because every cell in body knew that was the wrong path for me. I may become a teacher, but I'll teach my daughter first. Writing is sort of the thing I fell into because it's what I've found myself doing more than anything else, besides molding the personhood of this little muffin I live with. As a friend said once, "I don't do anything fancy with words. I just write them."

What does God call you to do today? Are you doing it? Maybe you are in your day job, maybe your calling is outside your day job. What fills you up like a good meal that ISN'T a meal? It's taken me a good decade to figure out what that is for me: it's pages and pages of my sprawling handwriting. It's piles of 30-cent notebooks in the built-in cabinet in my bedroom. It's a blog where I write about praising, questioning, and worshipping God and Jesus Christ, and also where I write about my beliefs on issues of equality and justice. I don't make much money doing it, but it makes me a much better parent than if I were doing something else. For that, praise and thanks to you, God.

Please pray for our brothers and sisters in Haiti today and in the coming days. The Haitians are beautiful people, and need our help.

You can instantly donate $10 to the American Red Cross by texting HAITI to 90999. They will text you back for confirmation.

Here are many other sites you can go to to help. Thanks to Molly Joy Matheson Gruen for this information.

------

Haiti Earthquake Disaster Relief Efforts:

AMURT (The group Eric and I worked with. We have seen personally how respectfully and effectively AMURT uses donated funds): www.amurt.net

Another way to support AMURT: Proceeds from all Haiti photos sold on Eric’s website
(Peacephotography.org) will support the work of AMURT in Haiti.

Quick and Easy: Text "Yele" to 501501 to donate $5 to the Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund, started by Wyclef Jean. The charge will automatically show up on your phone bill.

Quick and Easy (2!): Text 'HAITI' to '90999' to donate $10 to the Red Cross to help with relief efforts. The charge will automatically show up on your phone bill.

Partners in Health:
http://www.pih.org/home.html

Covenant Word Relief:
http://www.covchurch.org/cwr

Lutheran World Relief:
http://lwr.org/

Catholic Relief Services:
www.crs.org

Doctors without Borders:
www.doctorswithoutborders.org

World Vision:
www.worldvision.org

Also, NPR put together a list of disaster relief websites, donation lists and support ideas:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2010/01/haiti_earthquake_how_to_help_a.html?sc=fb&cc=fp

{{ Thank you, friends. }}

Good, Anyway.

2010-01-11T14:21:00.000-06:00

1 Corinthians 1:3-6

This past weekend was challenging for me, and wonderful. I traveled with my fiance to visit his grandparents in Arizona. While I was so grateful to be in the warm sun after living in this frigid tundra we call Minnesota, I was unprepared for the amount of patience and grace I needed to make the trip a success.
Well, "unprepared" is maybe not right word. I knew going in that we would be communicating in a new ways that we are not generally used to. I found that I have immense love and feel a lot of protectiveness for my new family. However, there are opinions and practices that are hard for me to agree with, or even find peace with.
So I prayed, and I continue to pray. For their health, their safety, their peace. I did my very best to do good, anyway. Even though I felt frustration, even when I felt annoyance, even when I felt defensive of my beloved fiance; I prayed to God to give me the wisdom and grace to show love anyway. It takes a level of acceptance. This acceptance is possible. For me, it took prayer, and the Lord answered me.

More fun from Glee! Just because. :)

Practice

2010-01-11T13:44:00.000-06:00

Psalm 119:89-104

I have practiced yoga with some regularity since I was seventeen years old. Of course, over the many life changes, moves, and caprices of my personality and waning commitment, there have been periods of time where I don't practice yoga for a while, sometimes a month or two. During these times, I become more physically, emotionally, and spiritually distant. I tend to eat mindlessly, be lethargic and irritable, and generally start to teeter toward depression. And so I've learned, over these 13 years of yoga growth, to be as consistent as I can; practice begets practice. It is much the same with my Christian spiritual practices: they take practice! I can't ignore God, my Bible, and my writing for a very long period of time, or I feel detached. From God, from Life, from Love. Faith takes practice. It has taken me a long time to figure this out. But I am nothing if not a slow learner.

That isn't to say that while my attention is averted, God's is as well. The Holy Spirit doesn't get distracted or bored with me; that is an entirely human failing on my part. Barbara Haggerty, in her research on people who are more deeply connected to spirituality,which you can read here and listen to on NPR here, poses the best question I've heard all year: What if our brains aren't like CD players, just processing what we perceive through our senses, but are like radios that we can tune to the "God" frequency? Some people may have an easier time tuning their dials than others. Mystics, prophets, and sages are some examples of people who have high-frequency dials. I am not a mystic or a prophet or a sage, unfortunately, and I need a lot of practice to tune in my dial! I need centering prayer, unceasing prayer, yoga, Bible study, worship services, and writing. These are gifts God has given me to transform my life through Him. We all have these gifts available to us. Praise be to God!

Enough

2010-01-06T12:23:00.000-06:00

Matthew 6:25-34

My brain swirls with unfinished tasks, goals, things that I need to control RIGHT NOW, need to get ticked off my list, or surely, the sky will fall down upon me. If I don't put into motion every thought that runs through my head, it will be gone forever, a wave upon the sand.

All that worry for nothing! God is holding me here, today, and saying, "Let me guide you." My passion is writing about God and Jesus and Christian spirituality...so He will enable me to do that, one word at a time. Nothing fancy. Nothing flashy. I can write my truth today, and minister to those who might want to read it. But what if no one reads this? Then I've done the work I can for the day, and the rest is none of my business!

What else am I putting my sticky little fingers into today? My looks, for one thing. I'd better do my hair, apply my makeup, make sure I'm wearing one of my colorful outfits! What if people see my real face? What if they see my plain t-shirts and jeans and tennis shoes? What will they think? They'll think I'm boring! Or...homely! Oh, oh, oh. Hands wringing, glaring into the mirror, fussing with my bangs. Then I pause and send up a prayer: "God, help me stop doing this!"

I have been given radical gifts: the passion for writing, the fierce love of my daughter, the rock-solid love and respect of my family and friends and fiance. It is my perogative to live out every second in the glorification of Jesus, in celebration, in kindness, in service. Not only service to others, but to myself as well. How many hours of my life have I spent applying mascara? Dieting? Obsessing? What if I could teach my daughter to love herself to the very core of her authentic being?

Today I walk with God, I ask Him to have me live truly, authentically, in His honor and glory. And to never, ever, forget to have a good time!

Thorn in my Side

2010-01-05T16:18:00.000-06:00

James 1:19-21

Anger is an emotion that erodes my peace. Some people are good with dealing with anger by their very nature. The Good Lord didn't bless me in this way! I haven't had many major events in my life that have cause lingering, damaging anger and resentment. It so happens, however, that an event of that nature happened this past year. An act of betrayal that shook foundations of trust that had been carefully and lovingly built were destroyed, and by the grace of God stand strong once again.

The anger this event caused me was visceral. I've never felt so helpless, hopeless, or carried so much hate in my heart. It ate me up- I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was anxious all the time. The Me that people knew and loved was being buried and suffocated by this stony resentment, and it was heavy and ruinous.

I knew long before I did it that the answer was to pray for her. But come on, let's get real: NO WAY was I going to pray for her! After what she did! She didn't deserve my prayers after what she'd done to me and my family! God kept calling me out, and I kept saying, "But...But...there's got to be an easier way!"

Bad news: There isn't.

Whatever situation in your life seems impossible to forgive, it will only be shaken loose by prayer. It won't happen fast, either. But it will happen. After I began to stubbornly ask God to loosen the grip this anger had on me, I slowly began to see her as a human being with feelings; one who needs love and affection. God didn't ask me not to be angry, but by channeling that anger into fervent prayers for my enemy, I am finally at peace. I thank God for my new outlook, my relaxed heart, and the love I've found for someone whom I never thought I could love.

...Isn't that the point?

2010-01-03T13:10:00.000-06:00

Mark 15:33-41

I like knowing what the likely outcome of a situation will be, what I can expect. When I can predict how something will turn out, I feel secure in the choices I'm making.

It is easy to live as if likely outcomes are facts. It feels good; at least, it feels safe. I caught myself saying the other day, "I'm a really good judge of character!" It was during my prayer time later that day that it occurred to me: judging someone's character is not a virtue. What good does it do any of us in the end to judge anyone's character but our own? Because someone uses a certain tone in conversation, or dresses a certain way, I can make assumptions about who they are? I'm glad Jesus didn't do that!

Thankfully, God loves unconditionally, and is therefore the best judge of character of all. God doesn't place limits on us. He doesn't say, "I'll love you unless you do this; I can't forgive you if you do that." His love and light reach us unexpectedly, by surprise and delight, and are not reserved for only the "good" among us. Who decides who they are, anyway, besides God?

Like the centurion in Mark, this overwhelming Love can touch those of us whom you would least expect. We would do well not to underestimate our fellows!

A few years ago, an elderly member of my home church was talking to a friend who lived in our same small town, but was a member of a different congregation. The friend said, "Oh you attend [that] church! You guys take anybody!" To which the elderly member of our church replied, "Well, yeah...isn't that the point?"

Prayer for the day: Dear God, thank you that no one is beyond the reach of your love.

Thought for the day: God's love has no limits.

Add some "Glee" to your week!

Auld Lang Syne

2009-12-31T13:50:00.000-06:00

Colossians 3:12-17

"...And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity."

Happy New Year!

It is always this time of year when my struggle with clinical depression becomes cumbersome. My brain becomes filled with cotton batting between synapses, my body aches, and being awake takes every ounce of energy.

During these times, which happen three or four times a year, I cling to the words in Colossians. I like the idea of being bound together in perfect unity, even when I feel utterly broken. The words tell me that God is taking care of me, even through my fog of depression. God reveals that He wants this life to be filled with joy and celebration, and even though it takes more effort for me to experience it sometimes, that doesn't mean that it isn't there...it IS present, all around me, and I can relax my tired heart and let God's peace encompass me.

Many of us celebrate on this night the passing of a year and the coming of a new one. God takes pleasure in our celebration, in our seizing of this moment to experience joy.

I have many loved ones right now struggling- with family hardships, health problems, and loneliness. Today I pray that God lifts those burdens and walks beside us, and helps us hold the good in our hearts as well as the bad. We can celebrate the gifts we've been given: friendship, love, and fellowship together.

So tonight, CELEBRATE! God is pure love and is present with us through trials AND celebration.

Prayer: Giver of Life, help us to live each day to glorify you. Amen.
Thought for the day: God wants us to enjoy life.

Discernment

2009-12-30T11:36:00.000-06:00

1 John 5:1-5

Discerning the will of God would sure be a neat party trick, as far as I can tell. Too bad it's not one of my strong suits. Most of the time, I am so entrenched in my own world that I forget that God is both my entire world, and also not of my world. I am frustrated often by the lack of communication skills God seems to exhibit...Hello! A simple yes or no would be great here! Unfortunately, God works in mysterious ways. The mighty hand doesn't (usually) float down and point me in the right direction.

Or does it? Does God provide paths and answers and I'm looking but not seeing? What I think I'm following the will of God and instead I'm following my own? My own will is plenty loud and demanding. What if God ALWAYS answers, but our brains and hearts are too filled with static to hear what he is saying? Maybe the answer is, "You need to jump in, go through this pain (or uncertainty, or hardship...or boredom!) because there is a mustard seed in this experience I need you to pluck out and plant"?

(I think I just abused several metaphors, there. Sorry, metaphors!)

I guess today in my uncertainty I have a few choices. I can trust or not. I can make the wrong decision and know it's okay, because God will walk with me and open up my heart in new ways, no matter which path I take.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God."

There IS a voice that separates itself from this blasted rat race we live in, if you can do more listening and less doing. It takes practice to hear it, but it's there. He is there.

Prayer: O Lord, give us the strength and courage to follow wherever you lead. Strengthen us when the way is hard. Amen.

Thought for the Day: Following Christ means going against our culture's ways.

Simply Jesus

2009-12-25T14:08:00.000-06:00

Luke 2:1-20

Merry Christmas!

Christmas is a cradle citadel
Strong hold us in its charms
While by its light and by its love
Faith and hope are gently warmed

-Alberta Fox

In the midst of a Midwestern blizzard, we are born anew in the Christ child. Another year, or minute, or breath to live in joyous love and celebration! Of course the coming year will bring heartache and strain, and perhaps we still are healing from this year's problems...but we have hope in Jesus! We can gather that pain and worry as an offering of transformation this year! No matter how desolate our situation becomes, we can live in the Love that is our God.

She is Life

2009-12-21T13:36:00.000-06:00

Mary's Song

Every year, inevitably we sing "Silent Night," in church. While I appreciate the imagery of a "holy night," where all is "bright," I must ultimately say "No" to the song. I must stand with Mary, my sister in Christ, and say:

I take your hand across the ages, a gap bridged by your son in His love, and I share that love with you.

Mary, I too was an unmarried woman who found myself pregnant. No one tried to retroactively "clean up" my story by claiming I was a virgin, as they have with you. But we both received a message from the Holy Spirit, that this baby must be brought into the world and cherished as a Child of God. And again, our similarities end. I was surrounded by the family who adores me and my daughter, in a warm and safe hospital, with every comfort imaginable. Yet, I felt the visceral pain of labor, I saw blood and my body was broken apart to bring forth life.

You had no comfort, no warmth. Only a boyfriend and some barn animals in the freezing desert night! Imagine, riding a donkey during labor, the greatest pain imaginable, to find your only hope was a barn, dirty and bare.

So I say "yes" to my sister Mary, and I say no more "Silent Night." Let's not desrespect the Mother of Us All by pretending she had a night that was "silent" and "calm," where there was "heavenly peace." There were screams of pain and blood, and cold and fear, and through all that God was still ever-present. We don't need to white-wash the Birth of Christ; it is all the more powerful when we look at it realistically and say, "Yes, and God was there."

In loving memory of Jeri Spindler, born December 21, 1946.

2009-12-18T13:00:00.000-06:00

Luke 2:41-51
Happy 18 months, Ivy Mae! We love you so, precious daughter. Many "squeezies"!

This story in Luke of Jesus straying from his parents for several days cracks me up! I can just see a serious, old-beyond-his-12-years face, insolently glaring at his frantic mother. "Hello! Didn't you know I'd be here?!" If my kid said that to me, I'd reply, "Hello! Did you know you're seriously grounded?!"

Jesus was still a typical teenager!

More importantly, he taught us that when we stray, we are never lost; we always have a home, a compass, in God. It is as simple as stopping what we are doing and quietly seeking God in the moment- He is here!

I said "simple," not "easy." How often do we get so anxious and harried, so sure that THIS CRISIS IS SO IMPORTANT, RIGHT NOW! We get stressed. Then the car breaks down. Then your toddler dumps packing peanuts all over the rug you just vacuumed (yep), then this thing happens, then that thing explodes, then everyone's cranky and it's only Tuesday...

No, not easy. But consistent. God is consistent, because it doesn't matter how far we stray, He is still there, waiting for us. How amazing is that?! Some days I'm just breathless with the wonder of it-no matter where I am, God meets me there and brings me back. Especially in this busy season, one that's become so secular and consumer-oriented, it's hard to remember that tiny infant in a manger. We stray far down the path of buying, travel, running, and wrapping. AH! At the end of the day, God enfolds us and gently reminds us to relax, to celebrate, and be joyful.

Prayer: God, may my life give back the love you have shown me, through everyone I see and everything I do. Keep us close so that we do not lose our direction in life. Amen.

Thought for the day: Even when we stray, we are God's beloved children.

Love Song For Our Mother

2009-12-17T12:55:00.000-06:00

Genesis 1:26-28
As a mother, I am a steward of many things. I am responsible for the food my daughter eats every day. I am responsible for keeping her in warm clothes. Because I feel that providing her with the best food and the most cost-efficient clothing, I give her farm-fresh eggs, organic fruits and vegetables, and I try to clothe her in second hand clothes. Not only is this good for her and the environment, but it teaches her thrift, nutrition, and good stewardship.
Wow. Listen to me! No-fun Nancy, at your service.
Except really, it IS fun. It's really fun being a steward of this earth when you can pick out yummy food from local farmers instead of Walmart. It's a blast to go thrift store shopping and find lovely treasures.
God put us in charge of this earth, and suffice to say, we've done a poor job on keeping up with its care. Oh, I know, there's debate right now about global warming and if it's a real threat or not, but that's just a smokescreen for the real issue: whether the earth is headed toward disaster or not, that doesn't change our responsibility towards it. It is right and good to buy less, use less, pay attention to where your money is being spent. Stop shopping at Walmart. Stop buying new when you don't have to...no matter where you live, Salvation Armies and Goodwills are AWESOME places to explore! Why are you driving when you could walk or bike?
Of course you alone will not save the earth. Even a group of us together won't do that. Rather, we make changes because it is good to live simply. We do it because God has made us stewards.
None of this comes naturally for me! I am by nature impulsive, impatient, greedy. I still drive to the store two blocks away when it's too cold sometimes. I accidentally leave the lights to my office on. I spend too much on hair products. But in the past few years, I've been able to get the majority of my wardrobe secondhand, and I've joined the local farmers' co-op, where I shop with reusable bags. I work hard to find a use for everything, and if I can't, I try to give it away or recycle it. Will I save the world? Of course not. But I might save me, a little bit.
Prayer: Dear Lord, help us act today to care for your creation. Help each of us realize that you want us to leave the world healthier than we found it.
Thought for the day: When we care for the earth, we do God's bidding.

In respect and memory of Ms. Rachel Carson

The Least of Us

2009-12-16T12:54:00.000-06:00

Matthew 25:34-40
God goes places I won't.
I would never spend my life in the streets of Calcutta with the sick and impoverished, or even in North Minneapolis! I would much rather stay here in my cozy home with my cozy family, where there is plenty of food, material possessions beyond what I could possibly use. Why would I want to go among the gangs, drug addicts, the violence?
I am no Mother Teresa.
I am no God. Most of us aren't.
But!
God is there. God is with those who are shivering tonight. God is with those in pain, in the throes of addiction and loneliness. GOd will choose who He needs to be there in person. Today I humbly ask God to send me where I need to be. I pray God will show us where and how we are needed.

Prayer: Lord, may we go where you want us to go, speak to those you want us to speak to, and pray and speak for those who do not have a voice.
Thought for the day: God is at work in places I would never go.

Come Together...Right Now, Over Me.

2009-12-15T16:32:00.000-06:00

1 Corinthians 12:4-7

How many times do you think you fail every day? I fail a lot. Of course, my every-day failures are pretty small. What about the big ones? Oh yeah. I've had a lot of those as well.

I'm guilty of thinking that I can control not only my own destiny, but often the destiny of the entire world. Some days, the very fate of mankind rests on my shoulders. That's right! Me! I'm solely responsible for negotiating world peace and ending poverty! I bet you had no idea I was that important, did you?

...Riiiiight.

Turns out, I'm pretty sure God doesn't need or want my help in all these matters. In fact, God doesn't even need me to shoulder the entire burden of my own life! She has given me many gifts; I'm a good mommy, I'm a decent friend. I possess a lot of positive energy and good intuition. I'm not a bad dancer, either! And I've got a heart of gold, even if my mind isn't always up to snuff. I love like a warrior- once you've got me, you've got me for life.

These are amazing gifts, not of my own making without God's handiwork, and through the work also of Mom and Dad, fiance and daughter, friends and family.

What are your gifts? Do you feel like they aren't enough? Would you rather have what I have? Yeah, some days I'd rather have yours. What if we pool our resources and stop trying to do everything alone? What if we join together into community? With each other and God, and stop living as if we are the only ones who can fix everything?

All of our relationships are gifts from God; Her way of saying, "I don't want you to do this by yourself. Why do you think there are so many manifestation of me on earth? Your path is Jesus, but others have their own path to Me. I am the Truth, and you are never alone."

So for today, here's to being a part of The Whole.

Prayer: O God, take away our fear of failure, and help us to rely more on you and on our fellow servants.

Thought for the Day: We are not meant to do God's work alone.

Wild Woman, Wild God

2009-12-14T11:01:00.000-06:00

Psalm 34

Turn your face to the Wild God!

I would do well to remind myself every day that God is "wild," uncontrollable beyond my understanding and it is I who makes God small. With all my little schemes and selfish plans, I grab God, yank him from his immensity and stuff him into my tiny Kate-sized box, like a jack-in-the-box monkey holding cymbals who will pop out kind-of-unexpectedly-but-still-reliably and jump in to fix my screw-ups.

How much more wonderful is God than I mold him to be? How awesome and powerful? How loving beyond what we can imagine? It is so very hard to find God in our world sometimes...often. There is so much evil, so much suffering. Is it maybe, just maybe, possible that God is bigger that all of that? Bigger than war, hunger, violence? We live in the world, but God is not of this world. He is bigger than sickness and death. That is a hard pill to swallow...but it's true. The reason I know it's true is not just because the Bible says so, although it does. I know it is true because I have seen with my own eyes the power of Love (God) triumph over evil, death, and misery. Thank you, God, for being Bigger Than All Of Us!

The one who pours is wilder than we ever become drinking,

Wilder than wine,

The One who fills to the rim

and leaves to live in absence with a toast:

Go home. There is nothing for you here.

A pearl in the shell does not touch the ocean.

Be a pearl without a shell, a mindful flooding,

a candle turned to moth,

head become empty jar,

bird settling nest,

love lived.

Prayer: Fill me to overflowing with Love this day and all days...

Thought for the day: Looking to God can turn problems into opportunities.

(From the Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church Advent Devotional)

How Will They Know?

2009-12-13T12:44:00.000-06:00

Romans 10:4-17

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? How can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

Happy third Sunday of Advent!! What a gorgeous Advent season we are having; let me take a moment here to send up a "thank you, Lord!" for blessings of health, love, family, and friends this year, this day, this moment. And as always when I am giving thanks, may I remember those who are struggling, alone, sick, or hungry, and God guide my hands and heart to help where I can.

The passage from Romans is, for me, as a "bleedin'-heart liberal," a bit of a sticking point. It always begs the questions, "How are you telling them about Jesus?" The answer is almost always, "...I'm not." Because evangelizing has always been equated in my mind with fundamentalist Christianity, and "Our God is Better Than Your God," mentality. The same people who want to keep my beautiful friends and family from marrying their parters of the same sex ae the people I think of hypocritically evangelizing the "Love of Christ." Embarassing. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth, because when I think "What Would Jesus Do?" I don't think he would deny union between two loving people.

But the truth is, I AM in love with Christ. I DO want others to know the joy and warmth and growth I've felt in my faith, not because I think they will go to hell if they don't claim J.C. as their personal savior (nonsense!) but because simply, my own life has been changed so fundamentally (excuse the word) by Christ Jesus. Perhaps this blog is a good start in evangelizing with a conscience?

I believe with my whole heart that whatever faith tradition you find life-giving is the path you should follow. I don't pretend to think all religions are equally life-giving, however. (Sorry, Scientology) but I stand by your right to practice it. And yet I say, if you are lost, if you are alone, frightened, sad, give Jesus a try. Please don't judge Christianity by Christians you may have seen; those Bible literalists, you're-going-to-hell, you're for us or against us folks are unfortunate people who live in fear, not love. I think of the Buddhist temple three houses down from my home: in solidarity with the season, they have strung lights around the temple, as if to say, "We stand together in this season, no matter what our beliefs."

Whatever your path, the light and love of Christ be with you, this third Sunday of Advent.

Prayer: Father God, help us to take the best message to ever to everyone we meet.
Thought for the Day: Share the best news!
(Taken from December 2009 Upper Room, a publication of the United Methodist Church.)

Loving Wastefully.

2009-12-12T11:01:00.001-06:00

Titus 3:3-7

Imagine if God loved us the way we love! People, things, places. I think of how many times in my life I've discarded something (or more tragically) someone, because it or they didn't live up to my expectations, or to my standards of usefulness.
We are a culture of using and tossing. I hate to be a Scrooge this time of year, but as each year passes I am still disappointed in myself and how I use money on gifts and things people don't want or need. It's not that my loved ones aren't appreciative; it's more often that I wait breathlessly for them to be impressed by my thoughtfulness!
There is nothing we can do to impress God. She knows us too intimately. There is nothing we can buy or any action we can take to make God love us more, because that love is beyond our comprehension. If only instead of living wastefully we could "love wastefully," as Bishop Spong proposes.
Here's to living simply and loving lavishly, embarrassingly, joyously, and wastefully today, and this year!

Prayer: Loving God, thank you for overlooking our flaws, and for loving us despite our shortcomings.
Thought for the day: In spite of our flaws and sin, God loves us completely.
(From November/December Upper Room, a publication of the United Methodist Church)

Unlikely gifts

2009-12-11T13:39:00.000-06:00

Isaiah 53:2-5

This passage from Isaiah tells of Jesus's lowly birth, how Jesus was nothing but a poor baby who grew into a poor carpenter; not a respected artisan profession like in our modern times, but very low in the social caste system of his day.
How am I celebrating this gift of Jesus during Advent this year? Jesus is the greatest "unlikely" gift, but my life, and all our lives, are filled with shabby, drab, tiresome happenings that when prayed over and "shined up" turn out to be beautiful gifts. In my own blessed and beautiful life, several nights of being up with a rambunctious toddler have turned into quiet, private moments between mother and child that I cherish. Freezing cold temperatures in Minnesota mean a forced slowing down and "snuggling in" with my family: my daughter, my fiance, my daughter's father, and friends. A stressful school schedule has given me the gift of discipline and appreciation for my education. I am so surrounded by the gifts of God, the radical love offered to me through the radical message of love and acceptance from Jesus Christ.
My pastor, Leah, often comments that she see the love and spirit of Jesus through others and her interactions with them. I find this a beautifual and useful meditation, especially in this busy Advent season!

Prayer: God, help us remember you, not only on Christmas Day, but on every day as we interact with other people.

Thought for the Day: We have the privilege and responsibility to offer other the gift of faith in Christ.

(from the November/December Upper Room, a publication of the United Methodist Church, 2009)