Thursday, December 31, 2009

Auld Lang Syne

Colossians 3:12-17

"...And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity."

Happy New Year!

It is always this time of year when my struggle with clinical depression becomes cumbersome. My brain becomes filled with cotton batting between synapses, my body aches, and being awake takes every ounce of energy.

During these times, which happen three or four times a year, I cling to the words in Colossians. I like the idea of being bound together in perfect unity, even when I feel utterly broken. The words tell me that God is taking care of me, even through my fog of depression. God reveals that He wants this life to be filled with joy and celebration, and even though it takes more effort for me to experience it sometimes, that doesn't mean that it isn't there...it IS present, all around me, and I can relax my tired heart and let God's peace encompass me.

Many of us celebrate on this night the passing of a year and the coming of a new one. God takes pleasure in our celebration, in our seizing of this moment to experience joy.

I have many loved ones right now struggling- with family hardships, health problems, and loneliness. Today I pray that God lifts those burdens and walks beside us, and helps us hold the good in our hearts as well as the bad. We can celebrate the gifts we've been given: friendship, love, and fellowship together.

So tonight, CELEBRATE! God is pure love and is present with us through trials AND celebration.

Prayer: Giver of Life, help us to live each day to glorify you. Amen.
Thought for the day: God wants us to enjoy life.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Discernment

1 John 5:1-5

Discerning the will of God would sure be a neat party trick, as far as I can tell. Too bad it's not one of my strong suits. Most of the time, I am so entrenched in my own world that I forget that God is both my entire world, and also not of my world. I am frustrated often by the lack of communication skills God seems to exhibit...Hello! A simple yes or no would be great here! Unfortunately, God works in mysterious ways. The mighty hand doesn't (usually) float down and point me in the right direction.

Or does it? Does God provide paths and answers and I'm looking but not seeing? What I think I'm following the will of God and instead I'm following my own? My own will is plenty loud and demanding. What if God ALWAYS answers, but our brains and hearts are too filled with static to hear what he is saying? Maybe the answer is, "You need to jump in, go through this pain (or uncertainty, or hardship...or boredom!) because there is a mustard seed in this experience I need you to pluck out and plant"?

(I think I just abused several metaphors, there. Sorry, metaphors!)

I guess today in my uncertainty I have a few choices. I can trust or not. I can make the wrong decision and know it's okay, because God will walk with me and open up my heart in new ways, no matter which path I take.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God."

There IS a voice that separates itself from this blasted rat race we live in, if you can do more listening and less doing. It takes practice to hear it, but it's there. He is there.

Prayer: O Lord, give us the strength and courage to follow wherever you lead. Strengthen us when the way is hard. Amen.

Thought for the Day: Following Christ means going against our culture's ways.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Simply Jesus

Luke 2:1-20

Merry Christmas!

Christmas is a cradle citadel
Strong hold us in its charms
While by its light and by its love
Faith and hope are gently warmed

-Alberta Fox

In the midst of a Midwestern blizzard, we are born anew in the Christ child. Another year, or minute, or breath to live in joyous love and celebration! Of course the coming year will bring heartache and strain, and perhaps we still are healing from this year's problems...but we have hope in Jesus! We can gather that pain and worry as an offering of transformation this year! No matter how desolate our situation becomes, we can live in the Love that is our God.

Monday, December 21, 2009

She is Life

Mary's Song

Every year, inevitably we sing "Silent Night," in church. While I appreciate the imagery of a "holy night," where all is "bright," I must ultimately say "No" to the song. I must stand with Mary, my sister in Christ, and say:

I take your hand across the ages, a gap bridged by your son in His love, and I share that love with you.

Mary, I too was an unmarried woman who found myself pregnant. No one tried to retroactively "clean up" my story by claiming I was a virgin, as they have with you. But we both received a message from the Holy Spirit, that this baby must be brought into the world and cherished as a Child of God. And again, our similarities end. I was surrounded by the family who adores me and my daughter, in a warm and safe hospital, with every comfort imaginable. Yet, I felt the visceral pain of labor, I saw blood and my body was broken apart to bring forth life.

You had no comfort, no warmth. Only a boyfriend and some barn animals in the freezing desert night! Imagine, riding a donkey during labor, the greatest pain imaginable, to find your only hope was a barn, dirty and bare.

So I say "yes" to my sister Mary, and I say no more "Silent Night." Let's not desrespect the Mother of Us All by pretending she had a night that was "silent" and "calm," where there was "heavenly peace." There were screams of pain and blood, and cold and fear, and through all that God was still ever-present. We don't need to white-wash the Birth of Christ; it is all the more powerful when we look at it realistically and say, "Yes, and God was there."

In loving memory of Jeri Spindler, born December 21, 1946.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Luke 2:41-51
Happy 18 months, Ivy Mae! We love you so, precious daughter. Many "squeezies"!

This story in Luke of Jesus straying from his parents for several days cracks me up! I can just see a serious, old-beyond-his-12-years face, insolently glaring at his frantic mother. "Hello! Didn't you know I'd be here?!" If my kid said that to me, I'd reply, "Hello! Did you know you're seriously grounded?!"

Jesus was still a typical teenager!

More importantly, he taught us that when we stray, we are never lost; we always have a home, a compass, in God. It is as simple as stopping what we are doing and quietly seeking God in the moment- He is here!

I said "simple," not "easy." How often do we get so anxious and harried, so sure that THIS CRISIS IS SO IMPORTANT, RIGHT NOW! We get stressed. Then the car breaks down. Then your toddler dumps packing peanuts all over the rug you just vacuumed (yep), then this thing happens, then that thing explodes, then everyone's cranky and it's only Tuesday...

No, not easy. But consistent. God is consistent, because it doesn't matter how far we stray, He is still there, waiting for us. How amazing is that?! Some days I'm just breathless with the wonder of it-no matter where I am, God meets me there and brings me back. Especially in this busy season, one that's become so secular and consumer-oriented, it's hard to remember that tiny infant in a manger. We stray far down the path of buying, travel, running, and wrapping. AH! At the end of the day, God enfolds us and gently reminds us to relax, to celebrate, and be joyful.

Prayer: God, may my life give back the love you have shown me, through everyone I see and everything I do. Keep us close so that we do not lose our direction in life. Amen.

Thought for the day: Even when we stray, we are God's beloved children.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Love Song For Our Mother

Genesis 1:26-28
As a mother, I am a steward of many things. I am responsible for the food my daughter eats every day. I am responsible for keeping her in warm clothes. Because I feel that providing her with the best food and the most cost-efficient clothing, I give her farm-fresh eggs, organic fruits and vegetables, and I try to clothe her in second hand clothes. Not only is this good for her and the environment, but it teaches her thrift, nutrition, and good stewardship.
Wow. Listen to me! No-fun Nancy, at your service.
Except really, it IS fun. It's really fun being a steward of this earth when you can pick out yummy food from local farmers instead of Walmart. It's a blast to go thrift store shopping and find lovely treasures.
God put us in charge of this earth, and suffice to say, we've done a poor job on keeping up with its care. Oh, I know, there's debate right now about global warming and if it's a real threat or not, but that's just a smokescreen for the real issue: whether the earth is headed toward disaster or not, that doesn't change our responsibility towards it. It is right and good to buy less, use less, pay attention to where your money is being spent. Stop shopping at Walmart. Stop buying new when you don't have to...no matter where you live, Salvation Armies and Goodwills are AWESOME places to explore! Why are you driving when you could walk or bike?
Of course you alone will not save the earth. Even a group of us together won't do that. Rather, we make changes because it is good to live simply. We do it because God has made us stewards.
None of this comes naturally for me! I am by nature impulsive, impatient, greedy. I still drive to the store two blocks away when it's too cold sometimes. I accidentally leave the lights to my office on. I spend too much on hair products. But in the past few years, I've been able to get the majority of my wardrobe secondhand, and I've joined the local farmers' co-op, where I shop with reusable bags. I work hard to find a use for everything, and if I can't, I try to give it away or recycle it. Will I save the world? Of course not. But I might save me, a little bit.
Prayer: Dear Lord, help us act today to care for your creation. Help each of us realize that you want us to leave the world healthier than we found it.
Thought for the day: When we care for the earth, we do God's bidding.

In respect and memory of Ms. Rachel Carson

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Least of Us

Matthew 25:34-40
God goes places I won't.
I would never spend my life in the streets of Calcutta with the sick and impoverished, or even in North Minneapolis! I would much rather stay here in my cozy home with my cozy family, where there is plenty of food, material possessions beyond what I could possibly use. Why would I want to go among the gangs, drug addicts, the violence?
I am no Mother Teresa.
I am no God. Most of us aren't.
But!
God is there. God is with those who are shivering tonight. God is with those in pain, in the throes of addiction and loneliness. GOd will choose who He needs to be there in person. Today I humbly ask God to send me where I need to be. I pray God will show us where and how we are needed.

Prayer: Lord, may we go where you want us to go, speak to those you want us to speak to, and pray and speak for those who do not have a voice.
Thought for the day: God is at work in places I would never go.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Come Together...Right Now, Over Me.

1 Corinthians 12:4-7

How many times do you think you fail every day? I fail a lot. Of course, my every-day failures are pretty small. What about the big ones? Oh yeah. I've had a lot of those as well.

I'm guilty of thinking that I can control not only my own destiny, but often the destiny of the entire world. Some days, the very fate of mankind rests on my shoulders. That's right! Me! I'm solely responsible for negotiating world peace and ending poverty! I bet you had no idea I was that important, did you?

...Riiiiight.

Turns out, I'm pretty sure God doesn't need or want my help in all these matters. In fact, God doesn't even need me to shoulder the entire burden of my own life! She has given me many gifts; I'm a good mommy, I'm a decent friend. I possess a lot of positive energy and good intuition. I'm not a bad dancer, either! And I've got a heart of gold, even if my mind isn't always up to snuff. I love like a warrior- once you've got me, you've got me for life.

These are amazing gifts, not of my own making without God's handiwork, and through the work also of Mom and Dad, fiance and daughter, friends and family.

What are your gifts? Do you feel like they aren't enough? Would you rather have what I have? Yeah, some days I'd rather have yours. What if we pool our resources and stop trying to do everything alone? What if we join together into community? With each other and God, and stop living as if we are the only ones who can fix everything?

All of our relationships are gifts from God; Her way of saying, "I don't want you to do this by yourself. Why do you think there are so many manifestation of me on earth? Your path is Jesus, but others have their own path to Me. I am the Truth, and you are never alone."

So for today, here's to being a part of The Whole.

Prayer: O God, take away our fear of failure, and help us to rely more on you and on our fellow servants.

Thought for the Day: We are not meant to do God's work alone.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Wild Woman, Wild God

Psalm 34



Turn your face to the Wild God!



I would do well to remind myself every day that God is "wild," uncontrollable beyond my understanding and it is I who makes God small. With all my little schemes and selfish plans, I grab God, yank him from his immensity and stuff him into my tiny Kate-sized box, like a jack-in-the-box monkey holding cymbals who will pop out kind-of-unexpectedly-but-still-reliably and jump in to fix my screw-ups.

How much more wonderful is God than I mold him to be? How awesome and powerful? How loving beyond what we can imagine? It is so very hard to find God in our world sometimes...often. There is so much evil, so much suffering. Is it maybe, just maybe, possible that God is bigger that all of that? Bigger than war, hunger, violence? We live in the world, but God is not of this world. He is bigger than sickness and death. That is a hard pill to swallow...but it's true. The reason I know it's true is not just because the Bible says so, although it does. I know it is true because I have seen with my own eyes the power of Love (God) triumph over evil, death, and misery. Thank you, God, for being Bigger Than All Of Us!



The one who pours is wilder than we ever become drinking,

Wilder than wine,

The One who fills to the rim

and leaves to live in absence with a toast:

Go home. There is nothing for you here.

A pearl in the shell does not touch the ocean.

Be a pearl without a shell, a mindful flooding,

a candle turned to moth,

head become empty jar,

bird settling nest,

love lived.



Prayer: Fill me to overflowing with Love this day and all days...

Thought for the day: Looking to God can turn problems into opportunities.



(From the Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church Advent Devotional)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

How Will They Know?

Romans 10:4-17



How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? How can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?



Happy third Sunday of Advent!! What a gorgeous Advent season we are having; let me take a moment here to send up a "thank you, Lord!" for blessings of health, love, family, and friends this year, this day, this moment. And as always when I am giving thanks, may I remember those who are struggling, alone, sick, or hungry, and God guide my hands and heart to help where I can.



The passage from Romans is, for me, as a "bleedin'-heart liberal," a bit of a sticking point. It always begs the questions, "How are you telling them about Jesus?" The answer is almost always, "...I'm not." Because evangelizing has always been equated in my mind with fundamentalist Christianity, and "Our God is Better Than Your God," mentality. The same people who want to keep my beautiful friends and family from marrying their parters of the same sex ae the people I think of hypocritically evangelizing the "Love of Christ." Embarassing. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth, because when I think "What Would Jesus Do?" I don't think he would deny union between two loving people.

But the truth is, I AM in love with Christ. I DO want others to know the joy and warmth and growth I've felt in my faith, not because I think they will go to hell if they don't claim J.C. as their personal savior (nonsense!) but because simply, my own life has been changed so fundamentally (excuse the word) by Christ Jesus. Perhaps this blog is a good start in evangelizing with a conscience?

I believe with my whole heart that whatever faith tradition you find life-giving is the path you should follow. I don't pretend to think all religions are equally life-giving, however. (Sorry, Scientology) but I stand by your right to practice it. And yet I say, if you are lost, if you are alone, frightened, sad, give Jesus a try. Please don't judge Christianity by Christians you may have seen; those Bible literalists, you're-going-to-hell, you're for us or against us folks are unfortunate people who live in fear, not love. I think of the Buddhist temple three houses down from my home: in solidarity with the season, they have strung lights around the temple, as if to say, "We stand together in this season, no matter what our beliefs."

Whatever your path, the light and love of Christ be with you, this third Sunday of Advent.

Prayer: Father God, help us to take the best message to ever to everyone we meet.
Thought for the Day: Share the best news!
(Taken from December 2009 Upper Room, a publication of the United Methodist Church.)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Loving Wastefully.

Titus 3:3-7

Imagine if God loved us the way we love! People, things, places. I think of how many times in my life I've discarded something (or more tragically) someone, because it or they didn't live up to my expectations, or to my standards of usefulness.
We are a culture of using and tossing. I hate to be a Scrooge this time of year, but as each year passes I am still disappointed in myself and how I use money on gifts and things people don't want or need. It's not that my loved ones aren't appreciative; it's more often that I wait breathlessly for them to be impressed by my thoughtfulness!
There is nothing we can do to impress God. She knows us too intimately. There is nothing we can buy or any action we can take to make God love us more, because that love is beyond our comprehension. If only instead of living wastefully we could "love wastefully," as Bishop Spong proposes.
Here's to living simply and loving lavishly, embarrassingly, joyously, and wastefully today, and this year!

Prayer: Loving God, thank you for overlooking our flaws, and for loving us despite our shortcomings.
Thought for the day: In spite of our flaws and sin, God loves us completely.
(From November/December Upper Room, a publication of the United Methodist Church)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Unlikely gifts

Isaiah 53:2-5

This passage from Isaiah tells of Jesus's lowly birth, how Jesus was nothing but a poor baby who grew into a poor carpenter; not a respected artisan profession like in our modern times, but very low in the social caste system of his day.
How am I celebrating this gift of Jesus during Advent this year? Jesus is the greatest "unlikely" gift, but my life, and all our lives, are filled with shabby, drab, tiresome happenings that when prayed over and "shined up" turn out to be beautiful gifts. In my own blessed and beautiful life, several nights of being up with a rambunctious toddler have turned into quiet, private moments between mother and child that I cherish. Freezing cold temperatures in Minnesota mean a forced slowing down and "snuggling in" with my family: my daughter, my fiance, my daughter's father, and friends. A stressful school schedule has given me the gift of discipline and appreciation for my education. I am so surrounded by the gifts of God, the radical love offered to me through the radical message of love and acceptance from Jesus Christ.
My pastor, Leah, often comments that she see the love and spirit of Jesus through others and her interactions with them. I find this a beautifual and useful meditation, especially in this busy Advent season!

Prayer: God, help us remember you, not only on Christmas Day, but on every day as we interact with other people.

Thought for the Day: We have the privilege and responsibility to offer other the gift of faith in Christ.

(from the November/December Upper Room, a publication of the United Methodist Church, 2009)